Mother India

I'm grateful to my mother: A R Rahman

A R Rahman has been nominated for three Oscars for his music composition in Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire. Here are some excerpts of Rahman's interview with Kamla Bhatt.

Kamla: Welcome to the show AR.
A R Rahman: Hi, nice to be here.

Kamla: How has your journey been from Kodambakkam to Hollywood?
A R Rahman: My journey. Very unpredictable journey actually. When I was a child I never thought that I could probably perform properly. I was famous from the age of 11 because I was in a children's show on TV every Sunday. So, they asked me to play film songs and I used to play that and people used to recognise me. Fame was not an unusual thing even then. But my confidence level and the level of probably delivering something all those things suddenly feel surreal. When you come here and you meet the people in America and Los Angeles. All the movies you have seen. Last night I saw Oliver Stone and one of my favourite movies of his is Born on the 4th of July. So it is really a big trip isn't it from there to here?

Kamla: And you are enjoying it?
A R Rahman: Yes, in a way, yes.

Kamla: Do you consider yourself to be lucky?
A R Rahman: Well, I think it is a very complex question. Luck can happen once and then we need to sustain it .To sustain that we need to have a state of mind and a way of life, I think. Because I feel that there is definitely a destiny part and the divinity part, which is again based on well wishing and love and prayers. But, then how much can you shape it and probably create the longevity is also a question. I think when I was young and all those mishaps my father not being there, dying very soon and me going to work and as a single mother, how my mother suffered probably to cope up with my career and all that. She was not only a mother; she was also a business partner I would say. When I did my studio, she invested money in it and bought the equipments. Whenever necessary, she would stand like a wall for my protection. So, she knows my state of mind, she knows that these guys are going to disturb my son so I will make sure that they do not come and disturb him. So, there are a lot of things, which she did and though she is not a - I mean she is just a housewife in a way. She is not a musician but she understands the temperament.

Kamla: One of the forces that have shaped up your life has been your mother as you have pointed out.
A R Rahman: Yes, whatever decisions she took were guided by the fact that I remain in the field of music because I was not very clear at that time that my future is music. I was more interested in other things, scientific things and electronics. But I think she took the decision saying that this is my future. I had to be grateful to her because now I am enjoying all this stuff because of music.

Kamla: Do you think you have been fair to her by calling her homemaker because she displayed a lot of business flair in honing your skills?
A R Rahman: Well, that is just a name, homemaker. The most ultimate thing for all if you do not have a home and then there is nothing. We always want to go to home. For that I think somebody has to do that. What I meant was she worked from home.

Kamla: She showed a lot of faith in you as a child. Like you have pointed out you were 9 years old when you lost your father. What does that kind of total faith in a child do to a child?
A R Rahman: Well I think it has something to do with the South Indian tradition also. Mothers are very possessive about their sons. Though my sisters will complain that no she did not show that much love to them. It is not true. I think it is much more because I was the only son and only male member in my family and had three sisters and she. We were just five of us. So in that way I think there is more focus in what she was doing for me and for the family. I think she also went through - she knew exactly how everything worked in the music field or in the movie world. Father overdid, overworked and probably exhausted himself and fell sick and lost his life because of that. Probably she wanted to correct those things, which were a mishap in my father's life and she exactly knew what was right, what was wrong in the way of working, in the way of many things actually. So that is one of the reasons even I started doing very limited films. When a composer used to do 30 films in a year, I started doing probably 4 of 5. I said this is enough for me because I do not want to lose. I do not want to be in the same boat as my father and overworking and you know probably destroying yourself. I knew that somewhere if somebody--nobody cares when a person dies. I think it is just the very few days of asking- How are you? And what is going to happen? And then everybody has his or her own lives. Life is a big kind of a challenge for everyone. So that is what happened. Probably that also made me more firm in deciding that all of us have to take care of ourselves and we have to be mature enough to do that.

Kamla: So you are not a workaholic then?
A R Rahman: I am a workaholic but not to that extent where I need to work like that. Sometimes I think due to passion I work. But my father wanted to make a living and he wanted to earn and make money for us. Unfortunately, all the money, which he made, went for his medication.

Kamla: Being in this film industry is a very difficult thing and when you have seen your parents struggle there. What have you learned in terms of working within the film industry and how have you changed the way you work?
A R Rahman: Well, first of all I think I was lucky enough to go into a path of Sufism. This was a major change in my life. After selecting that path I think I could probably separate myself with so many things and look at it from a very external point of view. So whether it is fame or money or people or love or anything or even music. So, even if you do a piece of music, you finish that and then completely disassociate with that and go outside to look at it from another point of view. Whether it is flattery or whether it is criticism, success, failure and so that is a great thing. Then having a kind of hope and satisfaction everyday that life is worth living for love, for giving love. It is probably a service also in a way actually-art.

Kamla: You think art is a service?
A R Rahman: Absolutely. Yes.

Kamla: How does music inspire your faith and your faith in music, you mentioned Sufism?
A R Rahman: Well, I think for everything there is an intention. So people have an intention for any deed they do. Some people have intentions as money, some people have intentions of fame, some people have more-I do not know. It is what in your mind comes out as music or any film. Like when a filmmaker does a film he would say I want to change something in the society and so I want to do a film. So I want to give them this and I want to make them question about something. So like that everything, everybody has something in mind to come out. And for me, when I was in a state of probably disillusionment - one of the things my mother said to me was why don't you live for others and then you will find a meaning to life. So that is a very simple thing, which she said but I think it has stuck onto my mind in a very big way. So living in the sense -- you are doing music to make people happy and to enrich their lives and in the same time feeling happy that you are doing that. It is almost like cooking. When you are serving someone food that you have cooked and they are happy about it, it is a great feeling.

Kamla: When did this change come about? Was it before Roja or after Roja?
A R Rahman: I think it was couple of years before Roja when I built my studio - my home studio.

Kamla: Yes, I remember seeing that (in the studio) in 1992.
A R Rahman: Yes, yes you came.

Kamla: At that time it was a state of the art studio.
A R Rahman: It was a really small studio.

Kamla: So now you have expanded the studio?
A R Rahman: Yes, now there is another studio coming up next week.

Kamla: Tell us about Sridhar, he has been a very important person in your life.
A R Rahman: Very few people could understand my state of mind, what I wanted to do. Sridhar was one of them and couple of other musicians whom I work with. Also, I think a sound engineer for a composer; we see each other more than anybody, more than a wife or a family or anything. We worked there for, I do not know, 14-18 hours a day and then we go to see our family for one hour and then sleep. So, I think sometimes you are much more intimate with your friends and he was like a sound engineer for me. I think very few people work with me till my first 10 years. I think it was only Sridhar and then Siva Kumar and my other guys like Sami and Noell. So, there are very few people because I did not want too much of crowd. Music was something like a baby in the mother's womb till 10 months isn't it? You cannot just expose it before it comes out. So it is something like that for me. So that is the reason why we worked in a very isolated way. But then all the concerts and all those stuff happened in 2000 and that is a different life totally.

Kamla: You lost Sridhar recently?
A R Rahman: Yes, it is a great loss I think. But what is good is if a person dies and people love him. Lot of people go the moral summit so it is a good sign that the person is a kind hearted person and he is respected. He died happily doing his job and being in his house. So that is a good thing. But he could have lived definitely around 20-30 years more.

Kamla: Now he knew you had been nominated for the awards.
A R Rahman: No, we sent the master and he communicated with interscope here in the US and uploaded all the music for the record. And then we were working on another film called Ghajini and almost towards the end of the film, the background score, just couple of days before he died.

Kamla: Oh! So he never knew that you had been nominated?
A R Rahman: Yes, nothing at all.

Kamla: So he does not know about the success of Slumdog?
A R Rahman: He knew about all the reviews and stuff. But at that time, no nominations or award. In fact, after that I wanted to get out of Chennai for a change and then I came to L.A. and then all these awards were announced and then just probably one week after he died.

Kamla: Really sorry to hear that. Who has been your major source of inspiration? We have talked about your mother but besides that?
A R Rahman: Too many people, I think. Every amazing person is my inspiration. Sometimes its major, sometimes it is -- I think it is the urge to probably supersede what you have done before and not procrastinating and not being complacent is one thing. We all need that to -- so that creates the inspiration and that creates the drive.

Kamla: Where you are going to get your new drive? Now that you have been nominated for the Oscars, you have got the Golden Globes. What is left for you to achieve?
A R Rahman: Well, it is one way, I would say that it is a great recognition and it gives you an exposure to do other things and to build bridges and to reach out to a particular section of people, whom we cannot even think of reaching before. At the same time it does not mean that a person who is singing in Lucknow, who is extraordinary in music is not good because he has not got an Oscar. So, in my opinion, it is probably a milestone and at the same time when you look at art or life, it is infinite, it is endless. So there are major things to be done, major things, which could be collaborated and done, major things, which could be changed. So I am looking at that aspect of life more than as a destination.

Kamla: Are you surprised by what all you have achieved? When you look back as a nine-year-old child, and look at what you have done today?
A R Rahman: Well, I have not achieved anything. I have not ended poverty level. I have not stopped wars happening. These are achievement. And in my opinion, I am just a very small musician who has got an award that is it.

Kamla: You are being modest.
A R Rahman: I am not being modest. I am trying to be realistic. So - yes I am trying to be realistic.

Kamla: A R it was such a pleasure to talk to you. Wish you all the best with your Oscar nominations and we look forward to talking to you once you win Oscars.
A R Rahman: Thank you. Bye.